magmachilli

It's about time this blog get's an update. And what better time to do it than the aftermath of getting results for my last semester.

note: Discretionary warning. Excessive use of the word "f*ck". If you are offended by the use of such a word, I apologize and advice against reading on.

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F*ck ups.
F*ck ups, I'm sure we have been one at one point or another. But problem is, some of us revisit that place more than others. Lucky you, others. You just have life better than the people around you. You better thank the Good Lord for your superior genetics, life conditions, luck and personal around you.

When we f*ck ups f*ck up, it's hard to see anything beyond the f*ck up, speaking from experience. It's really hard to see what we're suppose to do from here. Most f*ck ups are salvagable, and that's why they are f*ck ups. If it isn't that bad, you wouldn't call it a f*ck up right? You'd call it a blunder, boo boo, blooper. Verbalize a combination of words that sounds cute and you probabaly can add it to that list of words, teach babies to say it when the take a dump in their own diapers which would lead to a symphony of "awwww....". F*ck ups don't leave you smiling. There's no way for you to see the humor in your ignorance and stupidity like you would if you, I don't know, farted in a elevator or slipped on a banana peel (cliche, I know, but couldn't think of anything). Instead it's how you'd feel like if you dropped the soap in prison or correctional facility; It's just something that leaves you feeling really dirty and depressed.

Not surprisingly, giving up and f*cking up are correlated, and not just because they end with the word 'up'. Read last sentence of paragraph above and you'd understand; How is one suppose to deal with something like that. It's not like you can just ignore it; I bet it still feels sore. It's not like you can sleep; I bet it still haunts you in you sleep. You could use alcohol or drugs, but you'd be a bigger f*ck up if you do so. So the easiest way to deal with it is just to run away, no longer exposing yourself to the possibility of f*cking up again. By avoiding the problem all together, you can remain ignorant to your own dearth of a functioning brain and your incompetence in being part of society. Keep running you wuss.

This is the part where the feel good lines are suppose to come in. But the thing is, you f*cked up, and you have no control over time and therefore are not able to rewrite your mistakes, so stop trying to create a time machine that brings you to the past; You're a f*ck up, so you are incapable of such a feat. You'd just have to live with the consequence of your f*ck up, that's the sad truth. But that doesn't mean you have to live life like an emo kid, cutting yourself to take your mind of your pain. Instead, hopefully you will learn from your f*ck up and therefore not f*ck up again and continue on with life. Easier said than done, admittedly, but that's the way God has set it out to be.

And no, I don't need your sympathy.