3 Hours to D-Day. Need to stay alive. Wonder if the Starbucks helps... God help me...
Update:
Half an hour to midnight. Reading time starts at 9.15am. And I'm seriously f*cked. I thought I could cover everything I need by today, but I still haven't. Time is running out and I think probability of failing for me is seriously high. But probably failing a subject is what I need right about now. Life has no discipline, no bounds, no structure. Studying without those limits is just impossible for me. Probably after failing this paper, I'll be able to be more focus, and have more drive and motivation so that I won't repeat this ever again. Sometimes in life, you just have to fall only to know what it's like to stand back up again. However, all this words that are coming out of my mouth, are they just to justify the lack of motivation and ambition I have in my life? Are they just the morphine to the pain and suffering that I have to face if I fail this paper? Is it to give a reason as to why me or my parents shouldn't feel ashamed and disgraced at this failure?
You're probably thinking, why the hell are you typing all of this when you could be studying you dumbf*ck? Well like how you described me, I'm not very wise at times. And all this while, my whole entire life, I don't think I can honestly say I have worked hard for anything in life.
Oh well, screw all this bullshit. I think I'll just concentrate on passing tomorrows paper and get on with my life. If I fail, well I'll just have to waste an elective on this same course next year.
Please forgive my repulsive language. It is utterly disgraceful and distasteful, I have to admit. But even writers are allowed to express themselves in this undignified manner, so I don't see why I can't too.
Update 2:
Just came back from the exam, and I can only think of one word: "SHIT!" I think everyone in the hall was thinking of that word as well, or somewhere along those lines.
At least it's over.
3 comments:
Well.. Starbucks will help u stay awake, bt u'll most prob hv problems concentrating in exams.
Actually u sounded just like me. I guez we hv d same prob. Im still strugglung half way bt i thought perhaps i cn giv u some advice.
Well yea, I also used to say to myself throughout this whole yr,"Hey I guess i nid to fail for once in my life, suffer, be disgraced n dishonoured... bla bla~ Then perhaps i cn really WALE UP. Yes. 失败是成功之母!"
Well that's prob what u're thinking rite now bt the truth is, NO. It wont help at all. Never. All i can tell u is, in the end, all u did was just that u self-pitied urself. U think u could hv done better d next time bt it'll always come bac to d same thing.
Till my trials, my results or slipping down ... further down.. Heck. 'd always thought i could improve it THE NEXT TIME. No shit. I guez all i did was jz lieing to meself.
You gotta break ur habit. Find ur problem n slowly overcome it. Don't giv urself excuses or allow urself to procastinate or jz waste time doing nth. U ALMOST missed it this time (almost implies that u might fail... results r still uncertain yet)
Owh well *touch wood*
But for now, DO YOUR VERY BEST. Study wat u can. Grab wat u can n rmbr nt to repeat the same mistake twice. In short, u shouldnt do stupid things over n over again.
All i cn tell u dat if u dun do well, u'll definitely regret next time. Think back last time the times when u scored high marks in exams. Those moments dat filled u with pride.
See. Doing well in exams give u d kind of satisfaction dat u'll perhaps WILL always rmbr. N next time u might even tell ur kids,"hey.. i got 100 for this ok..." (just an exp)
So never even TRY to fail cuz it's dumb.
And if u ever FAIL, no one will pity you. NO ONE.
*Note: The paragraph up there was told by my classmate's mum. She smsed me 1 hell long of advice. N i actually received it during yd's farewell party -.- N i was actually quite taken aback dat time.
The road is already dere. All u hv 2 do is jz walk it. You n wat u're aiming for. Why bother taking d long route... Going missing sumwhere.. Why sit there n wait..?! You really gotta stay focus. FOCUS!
Well, i hope my advice helps. If nt den nvm. Well i feel very contradicting since im also like dat. Like the idiom u use dat day. "Pot calling the kettle black or sth..." LOL
Bt anyway rmbr.. stay focus :D
3rd paragrph:
*WAKE UP
Yes WAKE UP people!
For me, it's only when i didn't study and i did well. Only then can I glow with pride. If you study and you get good results, I don't see anything in that. It's like, "of course I do well. I study mar..."
lalala~
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