Strategy Consultancy Session

I'm not really content in which the direction of this blog is going. Initially I hoped to write articles that would either be thought provoking, or amusing, or just enjoyable to read.

I'm not really sure if I'm actually going in that direction anymore. Then again was I ever headed in the right direction from the start in the first place? I don't know. That's why I would like some feedback. FEEDBACK! What would you like to see more on this blog? Do you even care about what I write? Well, whatever it may be, just hit the comment button or write something in that cbox.

Hopefully this will help me improve this dead blog of mine...

Magmachilli's Guide To Getting A Girlfriend. For Nerds, Geeks and other Social Anomalies.

Sick of seeing all your peers being in relationship after relationship while you're all alone? Tired of having your Mom bug you on getting a girlfriend? Feeling alone at nights? Wishing you could order dishes for 2 in fancy restaurants? Yes? Then read on!

1. Grow up!
Women need to know that you're capable of being a Man, and therefore being able to fulfill that which is required of a boyfriend. So if you're to give your girlfriend a sense of security, it's time you give up on the things you cherish such as your Comic Book collection or your your whole box of Baseball Cards. That way the girl will know that you're committed (Hell yeah you're committed. I know it's not easy...) and she'll appreciate you more if you do because she now feels that she can depend on you.

2. Suit up!
In the words of the great man Barney Stinson, it's time to suit up! No longer can you wear your favourite Batman shirt. Never again can you profess your passion for George Lucas's awesome Star Wars series on your clothes. It's time to wear big people clothes, time to shop in places like Banana Republic and other preppy places where the cool kids shop, just so that the jocks in Abercrombie and Fitch won't be pulling wedgies on you. Be ready to fork up a substantial amount of cash, but hopefully you won't have a problem as you've got some money from your sale of your prized possessions (Don't cry. Delight in the fact that you're on your way to getting a girlfriend while the person you sold your stuff to is probably going to be alone for the rest of his miserable life. Happy now? You're allowed to laugh. LAUGH!) And the most important thing, don't pull your pants up too high. Never!

3. Clean up!
Time to get a fashionable haircut so that you look less of a caveman. And no, looking like Spock is not allowed. He might be the total ladies man, but he's definitely not hooking up with any female Earthlings tonight, unless they're ugly fat pimply Trekkies, and you deserve better than that! If in doubt of the hairstyle, just leave it to the hair stylist. They're the professionals.

It's probably a good idea to get a shave and maybe start wearing deodorant. Maybe cologne if you're daring. Don't ask me why. I know beards are cool, but not all the ladies dig it. You can grow it back if you're lucky enough to get a girlfriend who thinks that beards are cool too.

It's also a good idea to get either get contact lenses or get new frames. Horn rimmed glasses are apparently the in-thing now, which is a good thing since they're not that different from what we wear. If you're a person who hates choosing and making decisions, just get contacts, though wearing them will take a little getting used to.

4. Read up!
When I say read, I'm not asking you to read the latest works of Margeret Weis and Tracy Hickman. It's time to culture yourself. Books that you should read, of course are the books on relationships. Kirk never did anything without preparation, and neither should you. Currently the book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer has recently gained much popularity due to the movie made based on the book. Read this if you're in the age range of 15-25. Other books that you should read are the works of Jane Austen, since her works are appreciated by most females, and reading them would allow you to strike witty conversations with members of the opposite sex. Also keep up to date with current issues, giving yourself a more sophisiticated image, and also showing that you're very much in touch with the world and are aware of the things that affect us. And while you're at it, maybe it's time to pick up the lastest issue of Men's Health. The ladies like a man with a good body (You'd also have to do the things that are suggested in the magazine. Reading alone won't give you the body of Superman.)

5. Gym up!
Like previously mentioned, ladies like a man with a good body. So it's time to start working the muscles! And no, thumb muscles gained through hours of gaming doesn't cut it. Depending on the image that you're going for, do some research on how to go about achieving that type of body. Going to a gym is recommended as they would provide the services of a personal trainer, who would be able to guide you through your gym routine. If you would prefer to train without assistance, the internet as well as a wide range of literature will be a very helpful resource.

And if you already spent all your money getting Left4Dead for XBOX360, you could just stick a pole in two CRT monitors lying in your garage for your bench pressing. No one's using them anyway. And True Black is overrated. For dumbells, just use pumpernickle bread. They're hard and heavy. You'd probably need 6 blocks.

Conclusion
With these 5 steps, you're just getting started. These steps are just to get you on your way. The rest is up to you, in how you present yourself and how you make people notice your presence. In the end, it's all about confidence, and hopefully these 5 steps have managed to give you a significant boost in that respect.

Thank you for reading and all the best in your endevours, whatever they might be. God bless.

* Disclaimer: No historical data can be found regarding the effectiveness of this guide. Use at own risk. Reading this, you acknowledge the fact that you will not hold the author accountable in any way regarding the outcome of this guide.

I hope you found this a fun read. If not, fail.

I hear wailing outside my room...


It's cold...

Tagged.

001. Real name → Joshua.
002. Nickname(s)→ Josh, Jo.
004. Zodiac sign → Gemini/Cancer.
005. Male or female → Male.
006. Elementary → SJK(C) Lick Hung.
007. Middle School → SMK Subang Utama.
008. High School → Taylors College Subang Jaya.
009. College School → Australian National University.
010. Hair color → Brownish Black.
011. Long or short → Long.
012. Loud or Quiet → Quiet.
013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans.
014. Phone or Camera → Camera.
015. Health freak → Nope. But I try to live healthily.
016. Drink or Smoke? → Drink, rarely. Smoking is bad.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Yes.
018. Eat or Drink → Eat.
019. Piercings → None. Considering.
020. Tattoos → None. Considering.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → None.
024. First best friend → Sean Yap.
025. First award/cert → I'm sure I got something during Kindergarten.
026. First crush → Current one.
027. First pet → I'm sure I had a fish.
028. First big vacation → Singapore. Probably 4.
030. First big birthday → No idea.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → Nothing. Just had Vietnamese Beef Noodles.
050. Drinking → Water.
052. I'm about to → Study, maybe? Take a shower.
053. Listening to → Indigenous Lacerations/黥面卸 - Chthonic
054. Plans for today → Sleep. It's 12.34am.
055. Waiting for → The end of the year.

FUTURE:
058. Want kids?→ Depends.
059. Want to get married? → Sure.
060. Careers in mind → Financial Consultant, Actuary, Rock God, Bum, Your Boss.

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE GIRL YOU LIKE?
068. Lips or eyes → What if they're both equally awesome?
070. Shorter or taller? → Shorter.
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Both.
074. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
076. Trouble maker or hesitant → Depends.

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Once, I think.
081. Ran away from home → Never.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → All you need is the Force.
083. Killed somebody → Nope. Almost, maybe.
084. Broken someone's heart → I'm a nice guy.
085. Been arrested → Nope.
087. Cried when someone died → I think when my Grandfather died. Maybe?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → To be honest, not really.
090. Miracles → In theory, but in real life it's hard. But yes.
091. Love at first sight → For some people, I guess it happens.
092. Heaven → Yes. Is there a reason not to? Think about it.
093. Santa Claus → Yes. I believe he's the underpaid mall employee desperate for some extra cash during the Christmas Season.
094 Tooth Fairy → Yeah, she owes me money, with payable interest.
095. Kiss on the first date → I wouldn't be the one initiating.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yes.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → No.
099. Do you believe in God → Yes.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

Tag yourselves. And there are less than 100. Lies. Lies.

My Theme Song.

Billy Talent - Surrender


I can't believe I didn't post this earlier.

Listen to the lyrics. I hope you can appreciate it.

Nik Aziz: Drop bumi term when asking for govt aid

I think this deserves a mention.

Lazy Saturday.

This is me.

This is my pencil case.

This is what I'm reading now.

This is what I had for lunch.

This is what I drank with what I ate.

Forgive me. I have nothing to post about. And Ian McEwan's pretty grim. Parental Advice is recommended.

I need to shave...

Going crazy eh? Seriously, what the...

I have no qualms against the use of either Bahasa Malaysia or English. If you want to be awesome in life, you'd obviously need a strong command of English and Bahasa Malaysia ain't gonna take you anywhere in the International Field, so any person who has a plan or any form of ambition in life and is capable of achieving them would have the intellect to learn English on their own.

But teachers, too hard ar? Going crazy ar? What if we said something like that, like wah Add Maths is too tough or if our workload is too heavy, would you even give a shit? Obviously not, so why should we? LOL. And I think it's a ridiculous excuse to say that English is too hard. If it is then you're probably not qualified to teach.

Can't we just fire them?

I mean there's a standard that we have to maintain. If we just let any Abu Ah Chin and Anand be a teacher, then we're basically entrusting the minds of the future generation in the hands of incompetent individuals. How can we let such a thing happen?

Just my 2 cents...

09_02_02 KL

Few shots I took back in Malaysia. Street shots around KL. I probably should have chosen a particular editing mode. There's no central theme, and for that I apologize. Well pictures, just for the sake of updating.





















I don't know why but I've been feeling a bit numb. Sigh...

Semester 1, Year 3, 2009.

First day of the 1st Sem is has just ended. I guess this semester is gonna be a little tough, so if God willing, I hope I'd do fine. And maybe I should find a part time job, just for experience. I mean during the uni days of our parent's generation, they had to do God knows how many part time jobs to support them. So fingers crossed, I hope I can find a decent job.

New semester, new hopes, new plans, new outlook.

Just hope I can begin to think straight...

09_02_15 MH123

It's good to have good friends. Nuff said. I kinda boosted the ISO for ease of use of camera so the pics are quite grainy, and for that I apologize. Pic credits go to Ian and Tim. Well pics:








































Thanks everyone for just sending poor ol' me off! See you all soon!